


Or Maybe Forever

by theagonyofblank



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-01
Updated: 2006-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theagonyofblank/pseuds/theagonyofblank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izzie has to leave Seattle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Or Maybe Forever

Rolling over onto her side, Isobel Stevens stretches her arms as far out to the left as they will stretch, expecting to feel the familiar and comfortable warmth of another body. Instead, however, she is met with the empty and lonely cool of rumpled sheets. Surprised, she pulls her hands back, clutching at nothing, before she wraps them around herself. After a moment, she slowly wills her eyes open – as though if she wishes hard enough, a warm form will materialize next to her. She blinks.

Empty.

No Addison.

She props herself up on one elbow, looking around the room. Perhaps she expects to see her bedmate somewhere in here, but quite clearly it’s as empty as her bed is; her bedmate is nowhere to be found. Izzie decides to wait a little while, just to see if the other woman will return – maybe she’s in the bathroom – but after what seems like hours, it’s pretty obvious that no one is coming back to sleep. It’s still early – a quick glance at the clock tells her it’s six-thirty – and there’s not really any reason she can think for any sane person to be up and about at this hour. She knows for a fact that Addison’s not usually an early riser, but of course, circumstances are a bit different today.

Because today, Izzie is leaving.

The weight of this thought strikes her suddenly and heavily; she has never really considered what it truly meant to be leaving – for, perhaps, good. There’s a pretty good internship over there in New York, and she’s glad to even have gotten it, given what’s happened at Seattle Grace. But even then, she knows – even though she did not know it before – that she doesn’t _want_ to go today. She doesn’t want to leave at all. She wants to stay here in Seattle, and she doesn’t care that no hospital in Seattle will take her, because she can always try take up a job as a pastry chef – she likes cooking, she does, and she doesn’t have to have good bedside manners or be polite to the cookies – and if that doesn’t work out, she’s sure there are other options. She just wants to stay a little bit longer.

She’s always chalked her reluctance to leave up to the fact that she will miss her friends, that she will miss the city, and all that are still true. But now, she’s also starting to realize that she will also miss Addison – miss her the most, even, and in the way she never thought she would. She has always thought of Addison only being there for her in _that_ sort of way; she has never thought of them being emotionally close – just physically so. But the more she thinks on it, she realizes that it’s not just the Addison-sex she will miss; she will actually miss Addison, the person, as well.

It’s far too late now, though.

Pulling on some shorts and a shirt that are lying on the ground, Izzie makes her way out of the room in search of Addison. The hallway is empty, and the floorboards creak as she tiptoes towards the bathroom – the empty bathroom, she finds out soon. But as she quietly heads for the kitchen, she notices the door to the porch is half-open, and so she peers out, knowing she will find Addison there. Either that, or a burglar making off with what little she and Meredith and George have.

But sure enough – and lucky for her, so she won’t have to search the entire house up and down – it’s Addison, and Izzie steps out onto the porch to join her.

“Hey,” Izzie greets, her mouth dry and voice hoarse from a night of sleep and more.

The sun has begun to rise by now, and some of its light falls on Addison’s face, causing her to squint slightly as she turns to face Izzie. The corners of her lips quirk upwards slightly in a half-smile, and as she runs a hand through her red locks, she replies, “Morning.” A surge of warmth rushes through Izzie as Addison meets her eyes, and she can’t help but smile back. Addison breaks the eye contact, returning her attention to the rising sun.

The both of them stand there for the next few minutes in comfortable silence, just watching the sunrise before them. Izzie’s eyes, for a brief moment, follow a car that heads down the street, but then she looks away as it makes a right turn around the corner, just in time to catch the last of the sunrise. And still, even though many minutes later it’s over, the two of them still stand there, listening to the crickets’ calls fade away, and to the birds’ chirps get louder and louder.

Izzie likes this; it’s not often she gets to just be still with anyone, much less Addison. She is usually either talking to or sleeping with Addison, usually both simultaneously, but never have they ever watched the sunrise together. And she doesn’t quite know why, but suddenly she blurts out, “I never took you for one to watch the sunrise.” And almost immediately she wishes she’d kept her mouth shut, because Addison’s quiet, and perhaps she has insulted her in some way.

But then Addison smiles.

“I like watching the sunrise,” she says, and what she says next holds a hint of mischievousness to it, “I’m just never up early enough.” She pauses, and then, “You?”

“The same.”

They laugh, and then fall silent again.

It isn’t long before Addison speaks again (and Izzie isn’t sure, but she thinks she heard a trace of wistfulness in the surgeon’s voice), “So you’re still leaving?”

Izzie nods, because she _is_ , even though she doesn’t want to

“And there’s no reason you can’t delay? Stay a little longer?”

Izzie shakes her head, even though now more than anything she wants to nod.

There’s a pause, and Izzie’s not speaking because she’s afraid of what she’ll say, and she’s afraid of what Addison will say back. She’s afraid, also, that Addison might convince her to stay. And she _can’t_ stay, because even if she doesn’t _want_ to leave, she _needs_ to. Because Addison is still married to Derek, even if Derek is still cheating on her with Meredith, and even if Addison is cheating on him with her, Izzie. And she knows that nothing can really come of that.

It’s still quiet, and then Addison says, softly, “I’m going to miss you.”

And for a fleeting moment, Izzie entertains the notion of staying a little bit longer. Or maybe forever.

“I’m going to miss you too.”  



End file.
